St Valentins Day vrs The real deal.

So this week most people, or should I say a lot of people celebrated Valentines Day.

I for one, honestly didn’t care either way.For me Valentines Day distracts people from the real deal.
Sure its nice to receive a gift, who can deny that? But we are talking about love here. Love that people spend years searching for, for that perfect,satisfying, earth shattering,raw, fulfilling love. One that brings so much joy that it is celebrated in a commitment of becoming one spirit, one union, in front of God and His Church.

Some people search for a life time, while others wait for the one to make the move and commit to something more, settling for what is. While others find someone young and literally spend their life together.

I believe when you truly love someone “showering” them with expensive gifts is not needed, because you are satisfied and complete with what you have with each other. Otherwise  I think is becomes confusing, misleading and distracting for both involved, from what the relationship is or isn’t.

Someone asked me if my husband had bought me anything and I said , yes he did, but either way I wasn’t bothered, I appreciate the gift but we have six kids together I think that in itself speaks volumes, more so if he spent hundreds on me.

When Grant and I were dating sure we went out for dinner and he would buy me a rose but for me that was just a taste in the commitment of what was to come. We were married as soon as we could. Because we couldn’t wait to spend our lives together as husband and wife, not as friends, not as girlfriend and boyfriend but as husband and wife.

Everything else can go up in smoke in a matter of seconds and than what? Those things don’t last but real solid love last – till- death, does.
Sure jewelry is attractive to the eye and can sparkle nicely under the light, but I think the sparkle can distract people away from whats really going on in life, in a relationship.

For me anyone can go buy a gift or take someone to a restaurant. For a man to show his true feelings, respect and appreciation, would be a man who shares the apron. Who baths the kids WITHOUT any help. Who makes a nice family dinner, makes me a cup of coffee or tea without being asked-just cause he can see I’m tired and need to put my feet up.

For me committing to the everyday stuff, the joys, the happiness,the struggles and even heartache and pain is a show of true love for each other- in other words ,marriage.

If everything we owned was taken from us and we were left standing with not even the clothes we own on our backs we would still have our marriage, our faith, our love and our six children.

For me this is worth more than dinner at expensive restaurants, Holidays at resorts and jewllary with glittering diamonds.

From my point of view Grant and I are very rich,extremely wealthy. Because look at all things we would still have if everything we owned was taken from us. We would own nothing but feel like we have everything.

I am reading a wonderful inspiring book called “Man’s search for meaning” By a survivor from one of the worst concentration camps.

He realised one day that his love for his wife and her love for him was so strong that it did not matter if either of them was dead or alive. Being in the camp he did not know if his wife was dead or alive-but it didn’t matter because he knew how much she loved him and he knew how much he , himself loved her. And that’s one thing that gave him some peace,something to hold onto in those horrendous conditions. He had nothing, not one of his belongings he had was allowed in the camp, not even his own clothes…and not a single hair was left unshaven on his body. BUT he had the love of his wife and his love for her, he had his memories of her and his dreams of her. Their love was something nobody could take away. He didn’t need expensive gifts for after all what use would they be anyway, they certainly were not going to save his life or his soul.

Extract from “Man’s search for meaning” By Viktor Frankl

A thought transfixed me; for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth- that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. Than I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart; The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in his world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when a man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way-an honorable way- in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfilment.
For the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words, “The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory”.”

So for me valentines day is just that, a day. A day where everyone rushes everywhere throwing money around to try and prove their love for someone, When in reality-Well ladies I’m sure you have all heard the song “Love don’t cost a thing!”

🙂

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