Seeing an post on face book claiming to be National Day of Action Against Bulling and Violence,I felt almost compelled to blog about it.
You see, this is something quiet close to my heart and not by choice either. Growing up I was usually the target for the bullies to aim at.Most of the time I didn’t even realised I was being bullied. Imagine that, becoming so immune to being treated ,by your fellow friends or class mates, a certain way , that you don’t even realise they are in fact picking on you and laughing at you behind your back.
I was desperately trying to make friendships out of damaged goods.Yes damaged goods. Because if they weren’t damaged themselves in the first place they would have stood by me as a friend and help me fight those so called friends-friends who think its hilarious to humiliate you, to single you out and not include you. To turn their backs on a person because they were always sick.
A punch in the stomach could hurt, being shoved around or having someone grab you by the neck even may hurt. But I can tell you that nothing, nothing hurts more than the attacks made against your very being-the person you are.Slowly over the years, they chip away at you so in the end you readily agree to anything just to avoid any humiliated or bullying.
After a while you learn to be super alert and to keep an eye open on the people around you. Did that person just look at me? did they just say my name?. Paranoia is almost a given. before you know it you have isolated your self from everyone because you are so scared to say the wrong thing, to agree or disagree to the wrong thing. You are scared just to be yourself.
These people crushed me.
And still 14 years later I would not want to be left alone in a room with them, let alone see them.
Yes bullying is serious. The scars are for life and they are hard to over come. Because like I said bullying attacks the very core of who you are. Its an attack on you , the person.
So when my son was being bullied at school I went in to defence mode. i did everything a parent could do even though by doing this I was pissing the school of. But I didn’t care, because to see him cry in hurt and frustration, made me cry. I knew exactly what he was feeling and there was no way in hell I was going to let this little brat get away with it. And Im glad I spoke up because as I found out he was bullying other kids too, a bully does not stop at one person. In the end the bully left the school.
This incident had a huge effect on my son. He became very angry and frustrated and even now two years later he still hasn’t completely gone back to being the happy young boy he was.
So if you know someone who is being bullied or harassed , do them a favour and stand by them and get them as much help as possible.Don’t let the bully get away with it, because they will just move on to the next person.