Some days I am not very brave.
I can admit that.
Some days there is nothing more I want to do than to admit defeat and give up.
But I can’t.
There is always something pushing me to keep going.
To get back up again.
Don’t give up.
Because you have got THIS.
Straighten your crown girl! Put on your armor.
You are the daughter of the GREATEST king. You can do ANYTHING.
My crown and armor may be invisible but oh the power it holds is magnificent. It can withstand the greatest battles here on earth.
It has WON the greatest battles here on earth.
My armor helps me through my darkest hours, hardest days. I carry it around with me always.
It is wrapped around my heart.
What is this armor I am talking about?
Faith built on prayer.
I’m trying to be brave.
But the last month or so the Fibromyalgia pain has been horrendous and unforgiving.
The muscle spasms are severe and nearly knock me off my feet.
I feel like someone is sticking knives into the joints of my hips.
I feel nauseous from the pain.
I’m starting to black out a little from the severity of it.
My body shuts down when the pain becomes too much.
This is the time I try to focus more intently on my faith and prayer.
I try to turn it around and bring purpose to the pain I experience.
To bring purpose to my suffering.
Because there is always a purpose.
Even when we cannot see it.
Or understand it.
I may not have the life society considers fulfilling and life – worthy.
But I am still alive.
And while the only thing I may manage to do is lay in bed, while I drift in and out of the fog, from pain.
I can still achieve something powerful.
I can pray.
So I pray for those around me.
For those suffering.
For those who have passed away.
I offer up my sufferings for them, that their sufferings may be lessened in return.
I offer my pain up for the souls in purgatory, that they may reach heaven sooner.
When I give my pain purpose, it somehow makes it easier to get through the suffering.
My suffering turns into a joy I cannot experience anywhere else.
And I become brave.