This is a draft to the introduction to my second book/part of my autobiography. But it gives the reader a rough idea about what my life is like now or has been in the last few years, since I turned thirty.
I am still in the process of having my first book edited, its taking a while due to life events and funding!
When I first started writing about my life to share with people, I wanted to bring awareness to Chronic fatigue syndrome But over the years as my life has taken different turns and my husband and I have been expanding our family, the book has taken a different direction.
So now not only is it to bring awareness to CFS/ME but to also bring awareness to autism and sharing how our faith and trust in God helps us to get though all our struggles and the blessings that have been given to our family and our marriage.
God has been extremely faithful to us and we have much to be thankful for. I want other people to know in God there is hope. It is not all lost. All you have to say to God is “Yes”.
My Life As It Is
The next 30 years
So I am 30. Three months ago I gave birth to my sixth child, another boy, Lucas Matthew Brown. It was a hard pregnancy, very stressful.
But I did it. Which isn’t really any surprise, is it?
Currently I am battling with Post Natal Depression and in the last week the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome has flared up pretty bad. My joints are extremely sore and so are my bones and muscles. I became weak quiet quickly and almost passed out holding Lucas.
I have flu like symptoms and feel run down as if a truck has hit me.
Of cause it has gotten me down feeling like this again as I haven’t felt so sick with CFS for quiet a while, years in fact, even though I know I am never completely symptom free, I just haven’t been so knocked around by it for a while, well from what I can tell anyway.
But I look back and I think “Oh well, that’s life” Look how far I have come. Sure it’s been such a struggle but none of it has killed me. I am still here! I am still fighting this thing and everything else that has been thrown my way.
People say I’m strong. But I honestly don’t think I am. I think its more, I have to do what has to be done and I’m not going to let my health define who I am. As well as this I cling to my faith because I know God knows what is best for me, even when I don’t. For some reason it is necessary that I go through this, maybe for myself or for the people around me, what ever the reason I may not find out untill I die, but I trust that it is God’s will and with God’s will only good things can come out of it.
People also comment “Wow you have been through so much!”
“Yep…but that’s okay.”
Writing this second book, for me, is about bringing awareness to certain health problems that a lot of people in society are affected by, either personally or by people they know.
Health problems that my family are affected by.
When reading my book ,I want people to feel like they have stepped into my shoes. I want people to grasp what it may feel like to go through a particular situation or to go through, what we would call an ordinary day in our lives. But to many is not quiet ordinary.
Because its only when we truly try to walk in another person shoes that we can only just begin to understand that person, their life, their struggles and their happiness.
Since turning 30, a lot of things have happened in our family that have somewhat change how we look at, not only each other, but ourselves.
While on the outside looking in, people may see chaos, our family is exactly how it is meant to be. You see, my husband and I have been blessed with a very special kind of family. One that is, no doubt, chaotic at times, but full of big hearts with much love.
Our family has been blessed with very special children. Most parents would say having one child on the autism spectrum is a blessing but having three (possibly four), you know your family has been hand picked for a very particular mission in life.
Sure we have days that seem to go on forever where everything imaginable has gone wrong or one of the autistic children have had a melt down that feels like its lasted all day or another is so hyperactive that he is bouncing off all the furniture and racing through the house. But we some how manage and get through it and we could never complain that life is dull! It has its challenges but dull is not one of them!
My husband and I often say we would not change anything for the world. Even with the children, who have their disabilities, we would not want them any other way. These disabilities bring out amazing things with in our children. Their love, their talents, their imagination, their never ending knowledge, their enthusiasm for life and their humor and quirkiness and the way they perceive the world around them.
Life through the eyes of an autistic child can be a struggle but at the same time it’s amazing. Life with an autistic child is a lesson in life you will never find anywhere else. They perceive the world around them in a very special way. Because of this, we have learnt love in a totally different and unique way, that otherwise we may not have discovered anywhere else but from the hearts of our autistic children.
I will also talk about my faith and how it has helped me come this far, how with out it I would hate to think where I would be in life.
While I’m quiet aware that not everyone has the same opinions when it comes to religion, I ask that you read this with an open mind, as this is how I have been able to get through so many struggles and cross roads in my life.
It is how I have managed to get through struggles and trauma in the past, everything that is happening now and no doubt everything that will happen in the future.
It what gives me strength to carry on especially in the face of criticism and judgment, rejection and pain.
It has also taught us to remain strong, as a family unit and that there is a purpose for everything. Nothing happens by chance or randomly.
I will talk about how prayers have been truly answered and the many of blessings we have received.
I write about it because I know how hard life can be. It can be painful and feel hopeless. It can make a person feel defeated or lost. Alone, angry, hurt, pointless.
The one thing I have learnt is that faith brings hope. And I want to pass that hope onto somebody who may need it, even more than I.
For me, everything about life is a blessing, the good, the bad, and everything in between. I want people to know that about their own lives. This is why I share mine.
So here it is. My story.
My life as it is, the next thirty years.