It’s amazing how something so simple can trigger off emotions that have been tucked away for good reason.
I’ve been painting these churbs and as I paint their delicate small faces images of the babies I lost enter my mind, and I can’t help but wonder if these faces are in fact the faces of my angels, my churbs in heaven.
I’ve been painting with emotions and the more I work on these angels the closer I feel to the babies I have lost.
Up until now I haven’t been able to find a way to come to full terms of the loss and to dedicate something to their memory.
As I paint their face’s I want to clasp them in my hands and hold them to my heart. As I paint their wings I want to feel the softness of them against my cheek.
Maybe most people wont understand the significants of all of this but we are talking about my babies
that I never got the chance to meet… To hold… To look into their darling faces. Words can never describe the amount of pain that in itself causes. A constant ache in my heart that I carry with me every day.
They say time heals , but it doesn’t , because each day that goes past is a day further away from when I carried them in my womb. When I had then for that small amount of time.
At times the only thing that keeps me going and keeps me turning to my faith is that hoping one day I will be reunited with them in heaven.
And I just pray that I will recognise them and most of all they will recognise me as their mother.